Dr. Ferber, I think I love you!

I don’t think I ever really believed it was possible, but Maya is sleep trained! It only took three nights in the end, and by the forth day, she was sleeping on her own, naps and all, after only 0-10 secs of protest crying!

It wasn’t all smooth sailing. We had one hiccup on the third night when Maya threw up after about 1 minute of crying. (On retrospect, I think I overfed her milk that night). Mo had extremely serious guilt issues, so I had to put on the ‘tough mommy’ hat and order him to help me change her sheets and sleeper as quickly as possible. He then tried to hold her, and wanted me to rock her to sleep but I was adamantly against it. If there was one time when I would not rock her to sleep, this was it. Otherwise, she would throw up every night to get us to do the same.

I put her down without any rocking and forced Mo out of the room. Over the next two minutes, Mo alternated between guilt over Maya (”If we need to rock her to sleep we will! I promise I’ll put her to bed half the time!” and anger at me (”You’re so mean! How do you have the heart? This is going to harm her psyche!” etc etc etc). Then Maya stopped her crying and promptly fell asleep. “It’s a fluke” Mo said. “It’s only because she’s worn out.”

Although I felt confident I was doing the right thing for Maya and me (”You’re so selfish” was another guilt inducing statement of Mo) Mo’s comments added to the doubt over what I was doing. What if Maya cried every night and never got used to it? Will she really be psychologically scarred over this? She woke up once that night, and it took 18 minutes for her to stop crying and fall asleep. (Read 18 minutes of additional guilt from Mo, and building anxiety from me). The next day, I felt the same nagging worries as I put her down for her nap. As I left her room, I picked up the video monitor, ready to see her pulling herself up against her crib rail looking for me. To my surprise, she was lying down exactly where I put her. A minute later she stopped crying and went to sleep. Her second nap went even easier, and by that night, she didn’t cry at all when I put her down!

Mo was shocked and begrudgingly admitted that maybe I was right. When the next day when off with the same success, Mo thanked me (haha!) and said he was glad that one of us had the balls to do it.

Maya is now a model sleeper. I still rock her for 2-5 minutes until she reaches that drowsy but awake stage, but I always make sure to put her down awake. She occasionally protests for about 15 seconds but usually goes right to sleep!

We went to a birthday party yesterday and Maya needed to nap there. I doubted she’d sleep easily there, so I was ready to rock her to sleep and hold her if needed. I accidentally woke her up when putting her down and to my surprise, she rolled over and started sucking her thumb! When I left the room, she cried briefly and went right back to sleep.

As I returned to the birthday party, experiencing a kind of freedom that I’d longed for these past months, Mo greeted me with a look that said “I’m not worthy”.

Posted on March 2nd, 2008 by shopaholicnyc
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I admit it. I love shopping and I love Maya. Put them together, and you get a mom who likes to dress her baby up in the cutest clothes.

In our Brooklyn yuppie-filled neighborhood, there is a plethora of baby boutiques. While I can’t afford to create an entire wardrobe out of them, I still occasionally make a splurge worthy purchase. And if there’s a sale, I can’t resist stopping in. Today, I stopped in on the way home to see what was left of the winter clearance.
I left with this cute number on the left, marked down to $27 from $50:

It’ll look so cute layered with thick patterned tights and a cute l/s tee. Since it’s a jumper, the sizing is very forgiving so I know it’ll fit Maya next fall/winter. The pockets are adorable, and I keep having images of Maya posing with her little hands stuffed inside.

Posted on February 25th, 2008 by shopaholicnyc
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For the past year, I have lived in almost a constant state of sleep deprivation. Sometimes the world is a blur to me, and I’ll lay on the floor of Maya’s playmat almost nodding off. Luckily, at that point Maya likes to crawl on top of me and wake me up!

Sure, there are times when I get a decent night’s sleep. That would be the month of September when Maya started to sleep through the night. However, those times were short and over quickly. By October, she had developed a bad case of separation anxiety. She would cry when a stranger smiled and would try and talk to her. She would cry when an unfamiliar stuffed animal was held up to her. She would cry when Grandma wanted to give her a hug. Basically she would cry whenever her mama wasn’t holding her.

In a way, I was very happy about this new development. Finally, validation that she loved me… that she needed me and no one else! The back draw was that my newly found great sleeper started waking up 3-4 times a night, and often 7-8 times a night!

Mo and I discussed sleep training her, but balked everytime we heard her crying. This was back when Mo used to put her to sleep too. Finally after 5 weeks of sleep deprivation, Mo became desperate. Her pediatrician advised us to “do ourselves a favor” and let her cry a little. Mo was happy to comply. The first night, we let her cry for 15 minutes when we put her to bed, and she only woke up once more falling asleep after only 12 minutes.

The next night, she cried for 10 minutes before Mo proclaimed that he couldn’t do it! “If we have to hold her or let her sleep in our bed, we’ll do it!” And so he went in and held her for the next hour. He started off sharing the bedtime ritual with me on the weekdays, and also relieving me of some of the wake ups on the weekend. (Can you read into this that I did 90% of the rocking to sleep?)

The following weeks Mo became busier and busier with work, so I started putting her to bed more and more on my own and holding her when she woke up. The bottle which used to help soothe her during some of the wake-ups started to get turned away. She clearly wasn’t hungry, she just wanted to be rocked. By mid-December I was doing 100% of the soothing.

Enter mid-February and Maya’s 1 year pediatrician appointment. I was still rocking her to sleep every night… and that I was becoming increasingly unhappy about the situation.  I resented the fact that Mo didn’t have to chore (yes, chore… I’m a mean mama) of holding our cutie until she fell asleep 4-5 times a day.  My sleep deprivation and his stress at work resulted in more than a few fights.  I also envied all my friends with babies who had a continuous night’s sleep, but mostly… I was terrified that Maya would grow into a 2 or 3 year old that wanted to be rocked to sleep. Already at 1, Maya was showing her strong personality and I was sure that she would be a nightmare to sleep train in another year. When our doctor asked us how Maya gets to sleep every night, I admitted that I rocked her to sleep. Our pedi immediately said “Yes, you have to stop doing that. She needs to learn how to sleep on her own.” I inwardly sighed with relief and looked over at Mo. He agreed (with a bit of reluctance) that it was time.

In the end though, it was my decision to stop rocking Maya to sleep. I worried about her ability to sleep on her own in the future. I must admit that my mother rocked me to sleep, and it turned into a nightmare for her. At 6-7 years old, I needed her to sleep beside me 99% of the time, and I only started growing out of it at 8 years old. Even now, I sometimes have trouble falling asleep and was bothered by insomnia at least 2-4 times a month. (Insomniacs, here’s a tip! Have a baby, it’ll cure you of your sleep issues with constant sleep deprivation!)

We decided to use the Ferber method because it seemed more gentle to both parents and baby. Today is day 3 and so far so good. *knocks on wood* The first night, Maya feel asleep about 20 minutes. And the 2nd, she feel asleep about 12 minutes. Today during both her naps, she was asleep in 2 minutes and 5 minutes respectively.

I hear that the 3rd and 4th nights are the worst, so I’m not holding my breath that it’ll keep being this “easy”. I put easy in quotes because while it doesn’t sound like a long time listening to her cry. When it’s your baby, and you’re fighting past your mother guilt to not go in and soothe her, it doesn’t just feel like time is standing still. It feels like time is running backwards in the wrong direction!

But seeing that Maya is fast asleep now, and wakes up the same happy baby she always has been… ferberizing is working for us! I’m so happy we’re on the road to a Maya who knows how to sleep on her own. Because I know this sounds selfish, but life will be so much easier! Mo won’t be stressed out anymore when I go to pottery class on Saturday mornings (she would either cry in his arms before her nap, or not take one at all). And I miss going out for a nice adult meal without Maya. I am looking forward to being able to leave her with Grandma or a friend to babysit. Mo and I have only had three romantic meals, just the two of us without Maya… and these were all pre-separation anxiety. (Thank you Jen for being such an excellent friend to babysit for us!)

Maya’s doctor advised us that the first few nights would be hard, but “once she starts sleeping on her own, you’ll kick yourself for not doing it sooner.” Give me a few more days, but I suspect that she is right!

Posted on February 25th, 2008 by shopaholicnyc
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Fourth of July weekend came exactly one week after I discovered I was pregnant. That weekend brought with it a bunch of social engagements with friends which brought about a new delimna - keeping it a secret until we were ready to announce.

I devised a brilliant plan. I told Mo that I would have the waiter pour me a glass of wine along with everyone else. Then while I pretended to drink from my glass, Mo would sneakily drink both his wine and mine so it would look like I was drinking. Foolproof I thought… after all, no one looks at what I eat and drink that closely right?

It seemed to be working fine until we received our appetizers (read: worked for about 10 minutes). At that point, my friend Tim started looking at me suspiciously. “How come you’re not drinking?” he asked. He gestured towards my full glass, contrasted with everyone else’s near empty. Mo was not doing a good job of drinking from my glass. “I am”, I replied taking a fake sip of my glass. He didn’t look convinced but was appeased for now.

Since Mo was doing such a rotten job, I jabbed him as a reminder to drink from my glass. Now let me tell you, the last job Mo should get is as a spy because he chose right away to pick up my glass. “Hey Mo”, laughed my friend John. “That’s Theressa’s glass you’re drinking from!”

This went on for a while until everyone around me was asking why I wasn’t drinking. “C’mon, c’mon… tell us!” So I finally had to fess us, we were pregnant. At that point, John laughed and said “Duh, it was pretty obvious when Mo started drinking your wine. You guys aren’t very stealthy you know”. (paraphrased since it’s been so long that I can’t remember his exact words)

We had congratulations all around, and I cheered everyone with a newly ordered glass of cranberry juice.

Posted on October 10th, 2006 by shopaholicnyc
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Mo and I had been trying to have a baby for a couple cycles, so after one or two dissapointments of testing too soon I purposely put off testing. But when you-know-who didn’t show up about a week after scheduled, I decided that it was time to buy myself a pregnancy test. On Saturday, I was tempted to do the ole’ pee test, but we were late for brunch with friends so I postponed it.

Sunday morning, I woke up around 9am and had to pee. I looked over at the test waiting by the sink and figured now was a good a time as any. Well, after I was done… I put the stick on the counter so I could wash my hands, and while I was still sudsing up, the test flashed “Pregnant” (I learned to use a digital test since the two lines tests are so hard to read). I blinked hard and felt my heart accelerate. Was that for real? I stared at it for a good two minutes before I finally believed what I read.

I could feel a slow grin crossing my face, and I rushed into the bedroom waving the test.

“Mo, wake up” I said.

He groaned but I could see he was just teasing.

“Look” I said thrusting the test into this face.

He rolled over, and then rolled back and opened his eyes. “Oh no”, he smiled.

A minute later, he was out of bed, wide awake and doing the battlecry that I’m sure all newly expectant fathers do. “Yeah!” he cried. “My boys can swim!”

Posted on October 10th, 2006 by shopaholicnyc
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I’m sure you have probably noticed that there has been a 3+ month haitus on my site. Pretty bad considering that I had just resurrected it, posted for about 3 weeks and then dissapeared once again. Hmm, actually maybe you were expecting it. Well, I just wanted to let you know that I had a reason for my Houdini act.

I… am… pregnant!

Maybe you’re thinking, “Oh Shopaholic, I understand. You’ve been wracked with horrible morning sickness that has lasted well past the first trimester.”

Umm… no.

“Were you just so tired all the time that using a computer for anything but work was a chore?”

Well, yes for the first several weeks, but I’ve been feeling pretty good lately.

“I give up… where have you been!”

Hey, don’t get testy now. My psycho pregnancy hormones are making me very sensitive! At first, I just didn’t want anyone but close friends and family to know about my pregnancy before the first trimester (which according to my doctor is a loooong 14 weeks!) to know. Then I didn’t tell work until I was 16.5 weeks pregnant, and my crazy paranoia made me worry that they’d someone find out through this website. But really, those aren’t my main reasons. The real reason why I dissapeared is because deep down… I’m really superstitious.

I didn’t want to post my pregnancy as public knowledge until I was out of the danger zone. So I waited until the 20 week mark.

Yes, that’s right. I am a little over 20 weeks pregnant.

My crazy superstitions would probably still be keeping me out of the weblogging world if not for the fact that I’ve been itching to keep a pregnancy diary. I figure that it’ll be nice for me and the baby to look back on my experiences over these 40 (okay, less than 20 currently) weeks.

So stay tuned for all things baby.

Posted on October 6th, 2006 by shopaholicnyc
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Because I’ve been on this ban, and sooo good about it.  My husband offered to buy me a gift!  Now given that I am a self-confessed shopaholic, taking a much needed break, did I take him up on it?

… you bet I did!

Nothing too crazy of course.  I had two pairs of shoes in particular in mind.  Seychelles Memory Lanes in tan and Seychelles Priceless in red.  Even though my husband was paying for the shoes, the bargainista in me couldn’t help but feel the need to buy them on sale.  I searched the web, but found nada.  Then I remembered that I had seen the Memory Lanes in our local Century 21 about a month ago.  Before placing any online orders, I figured I’d give Century 21 a looksee first. 

Lo and behold, there it was.  The shoes I was looking for in the color I wanted!

Since they’re neutral they really elongate my legs, while looking fabulous with my girly/classic/retro style.  They’re also amazingly comfortable considering how tall they are.  Not to mention they’re simply adorable!

Posted on June 20th, 2006 by shopaholicnyc
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I think I may have found the (almost) perfect espadrilles for summer. They are the Charles Albert Mini Espadrilles. The heel is only 2″ tall, so they’ll be ideal for walking around the city. And the best news is that they’re only $29 so no need to worry about destroying them! (I’m notoriously hard on summer shoes). Now if only they came in navy, they would be perfect! Although the red is very tempting…

Posted on June 13th, 2006 by shopaholicnyc
Filed under: Fashion | 1 Comment »

I just came across this picture of Jessica Alba:

I adore everything about it. The trench and buttonup is very classic and chic. The jeans and bag give it a more casual feel, and the earrings add a little flair.

I’m going to try and re-create this outfit with pieces from my own wardrobe. In particular, I have this fabulous Alice+Olivia cordoroy trench that will work:

I can’t wait to try it tonight!

Posted on June 12th, 2006 by shopaholicnyc
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I went to the Botkier sample sale on the first day after work (I literally ran out of the office). I was originally going to skip because I thought they would only have spring 2006 merchandise, and I didn’t think the prices would be so great. But it turned out that this was a really excellent sale. Although, they didn’t have the exact bag I was looking for (Botkier Stirrup in Metallic Twilight) I wasn’t dissapointed.

I arrived at the sale at 5:30pm and got in straight away. It was crowded, but not unbearably so. I think they had just re-stocked recently because the tables were full of bags that started to trickle away right before my eyes. By the time I left around 6:25pm, maybe 1/3 of the bags were left on the tables.

As I walked in, a table of pearl mini holsters in a pebbled leather caught my eye. The leather was so pretty on it. For some reason, one of the bags was marked $75 so of course, the bargainista in me snatched that one straight up. Just in case it was discounted and the rest weren’t. Well, lucky me! I asked a sales associate and yes, this bag was discounted (rest were $150) because of a teeny defect on the handle. I wouldn’t even have noticed!

The only other item on the table that interested me was the Bombay Tote in natural. It’s such a pretty bag. But I eventually decided that I wouldn’t need three light colored bags (the mini holster I was holding, my Marc Jacobs bowler). Also, I wasn’t too crazy about the small opening on the Bombay Tote. It would be a pain to get things in and out of. And I also didn’t like the fact that it was handheld only, so I put it back on the table (to be grabbed by another girl).

Speaking of grabbing… all the good bags weren’t on the table, but in the hands of other women. They were literally holding five each and circling each other, waiting for a woman to put a bag down. Women were literally coming up to me every few minutes and asking if I was taking a specific bag! A woman near me decided against the black x-studded stirrup, so that became mine! I wasn’t too impressed with the bag from the pictures online, but it is gorgeous in real life. Now the question was, did I want this black x-stirrup or should I take a chance that they’d have the metallic twilight stirrup after they restocked the next day. After a little deliberation, I decided that I would buy the black stirrup. I only have one black bag and it has gold hardware. So this fills a need in my wardrobe and is probably a more versatile color for me anyway. And I’d already left work early that day, so I didn’t want to waste a lunch hour tomorrow that could potentially result in nothing.

The next day, I heard reports that the Botkier sale was madness. Not only did girls wait 1.5 hours to get in, but the truck delivering the new shipment had been delayed, so they opened 1.5 hours late! Another report said that the sale was pretty picked over by 4:45pm, and they only had the bags that I had no interest in left.

I was VERY glad that I picked up the bags I did when I did.
Review forthcoming…

Posted on June 9th, 2006 by shopaholicnyc
Filed under: Fashion | No Comments »